Reality Bends
by Madrigal-in-training
Summary: Naruto woke up to a black-haired, green-eyed toddler sitting on his chest. The accompanying letter claimed that the kid was family. What other choice did he have but to take the child in? Fifteen year old genin, saddled with a kid, and still a virgin. Ero-Sennin was never going to let him live this down. A Naruto adopts Harry story.
1. Phoenix Baby Delivery Service

_**Naruto woke up to a black-haired, green-eyed toddler sitting on his chest. The accompanying letter claimed that the kid was family. What other choice did he have but to take the child in? Fifteen year old genin, saddled with a kid, and still a virgin. God, Ero-Sennin was never going to let him live this down. A Naruto adopts Harry story.**_

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A loud cracking sound hovered briefly in the air before the magic that created it disappeared. Surprisingly, the sound didn't wake up the young toddler sleeping on the doorstep. Dark, tousled hair covered the round face of a gently dozing child. He was clad in dark blue pajamas and bundled into a red and gold blanket. The blanket was embroidered with four animals: a stag, a dog, a wolf, and a rat. The most striking part of his appearance was the jagged star- red and pulsating- on his smooth forehead.

That boy was Harry Potter, and fortunately for him, he would not be staying on that doorstep for long.

Another creature appeared at the end of the street. Much like his Human, this beautiful creature of red and gold was unwelcome here at Private Drive. Fawkes had actually arrived at the area far earlier in the day, but had waited for his Human to bring the boy over here. He gave a soft, mournful trill.

This newly orphaned boy was being left to Muggles with some of the most petty souls Fawkes had ever encountered. Sometimes, Albus was an idiot.

Fawkes gave another trill, before flying down to land besides the sleeping wizard-child. With his beak, he nudged away the part of the blanket that covered the boy's face. The slimy, cold feeling of Dark Magic on the boy made him cringe, before Fawkes regained control of himself and moved closer. A few tears ran down the wizard-child's face, making Harry squirm in discomfort from the odd sensation. The darkness faded a little, but the scar remained, much to Fawkes' annoyance.

The immortal creature of light flew back to his previous spot to pick up a piece of parchment he'd stolen from Albus and left in the bushes. Carefully lifting a claw, he dipped it in a bottle of ink also nicked from Albus, and slowly sketched a few of those shapes that he was familiar with. He waited for the ink to dry- impatient because it was chilly, and the night was terrible, and he wouldn't have even had to do this had Albus simply _thought_ the situation through first. Once the ink had dried to his satisfaction, Fawkes delicately picked it up and nestled it in between the boy and his blanket.

The next part, Fawkes knew, would be tricky. He was banking on that odd energy source he'd felt on Lily-witch some five or six years ago. That energy wasn't the type that he was familiar with, the one that wizards termed "magic". This was also "magic", but it was not wizard-magic. Wizard-magic centered around a core, a wellspring of power that resided in the naval area and pulsed with a steady, comforting light. It was a wizard's second heartbeat.

This wizard-child had very strong wizard-magic, but he had very strong other-magic too. Other-magic was different from wizard-magic; it ran all over the body with no center. Other-magic hummed, and spun, and danced; it flitted across the boy's body like a cloak, a protector, a friend. It was playful magic, rich in power and reckless abandon. He could see tendrils of it wafting over the boy's skin, coiling and uncoiling to form ever more complex swirls in the shape of whirlpools. Then the energy would crescend, and a wave of other-magic would slam the whirlpools and scatter them into tendrils again, making the entire process start over again.

This was something Fawkes could see and he gazed at it in wonder. Hesitantly, the phoenix closed it's eyes and employed one of the greatest powers its' species possessed. He extended his consciousness and "touched" the magic.

Fawkes had been a little concerned about how the other-magic would react. He had never "touched" the other-magic before, and unlike wizard-magic, this energy might react in a negative manner. He need not have worried, for the magic embraced him with all of the eagerness and warmth of a child. The other-magic was lonely. It's only other source of other-magic had disappeared.

Fawkes resisted being pulled into the allure of the other-magic. This was the danger that "touching" magic provided. It was addictive and enticing, especially if it was held by a strong magic user like this wizard-child. It held an imprint of the caster- and this wizard-child was summer rain, and green moss, and raspberries, and pine needles. He rather liked the little boy who came from the James-wizard of the hazelnuts, and wet grass, and sunshine and broomstick polish. He had never felt Lily-witch's magic before- unlike her husband, she wasn't a prankster and had never been called up to the Headmaster's office- but he assumed that she also had nice magic.

Ignoring the urge to drown himself in the other-magic, Fawkes drew up all of the feelings and memories and "magic" he associated with the idea of family. He pushed it towards the other-magic and waited patiently. He did not have to wait for long as the other-magic immediately responded. A wave of childish anger and childish tears and childish frustration hit him, bringing with it three murky pictures. One was a beautiful red-haired woman, then a man with messy hair and glasses, and finally the dog-man with the laughing grey eyes.

Fawkes reeled from the emotions, before focusing on the third picture. He sent it back with a feeling that basically boiled down to "what the fuck?". The message back was prompt: a chubby man with the face of a rat, a tendril of soul magic around his core, and a poisonous green snake wrapped around his arm. Fawkes was stunned. _Stunned_.

The bird was about to withdraw when the other-magic "spoke" again. This time it was an even murkier picture, but Fawkes could make out a few details. Foxes and spring breezes and salty water and morning dew. Blonde hair and blue eyes. A touch of prophecy. Laughter. Hope. And other-magic that leapt and danced like a whirlpool. Jackpot.

Fawkes clutched the image tightly and squawked in triumph. Then, with a flash of fire, both the bird and the boy disappeared from Private Drive forever.

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Harry was, surprisingly enough, the first person to wake up. The fifteen-month toddler had been a little disconcerted when he found himself in new surroundings. Trees and rocks and pretty flowers that were like mummy's hair... Mummy! Where was Harry's mummy?

The little boy had been placed safely on the ground, beneath a tree, and he struggled to wiggle himself out of his too-warm blanket. The boy shakily stood on two chubby legs and looked around for his Mummy. He couldn't find her! Harry was just about to plop himself down for a good cry when his eyes caught sight of Naruto.

Now, some part of Harry recognized that this man was a stranger. A stronger part- the Magical part- realized that the person had the same "feel" as Mummy. And Daddy Pwongs and Unca Pafoo could look different too. So in Harry's childish mind...

_**"Mummy!**_" Harry shouted exuberantly, as he toddled up to the sleeping blonde. The baby threw his hands around the blonde's neck and stumbled onto the side of his body, _**"Mummy! Mummy!"**_

The happy shouts awakened the other two people in the clearing. The first man, a tall, big-shouldered man with long, white hair, merely propped himself up on one arm and stared. He had been awake ever since the toddler starting wiggling in his blanket, but didn't make a move yet as he wanted to see what the child would do.

As for the other man, Naruto didn't react as gracefully.

Blue eyes opened in alarm to find a teary-eyed midget pressing his face so close to Naruto's that their noses were touching.

"Aaah!" Naruto screamed, bolting upright and dislodging the toddler. Harry fell to the ground, landing harshly on his butt, and started to cry.

The sound gave Naruto pause, as he stopped and took in the details of his assaulter. Messy black hair, bright green eyes, a sharp cut that looked recently acquired, and mini-people pajamas. And tears. There were a lot of tears and some snot too. The midget wasn't the neatest of criers.

"Hey... um... don't cry," Naruto offered, tentatively patting the boy on the back, "You don't need to cry? It's okay?"

"M-mummy," Harry whimpered, reaching out his arms again. The blonde hesitantly picked the child up and half-cradled him from nearly a foot away. Harry made motions to get closer, so, resigned, Naruto brought the child closer to his chest.

"Listen kid, I'm not really your mommy," Naruto tried to explain, "I'm a guy, see? Hey, are you lost? Do you know where your mom is?"

Harry started up at him, with big green eyes. He clearly had no idea what Naruto had just said. The toddler merely raised a chubby little fist and solemnly put it in his mouth. Naruto sweat dropped.

The ninja jutted his thumb out and pointed it at himself. "Na-ru-to," he enunciated, carefully. Then he stared at the nonplussed child until the boy stopped sucking on his fist.

"_**Ha-rry,**_" the boy, apparently Harry, announced loudly.

"Ha-rri," Naruto repeated, mimicking the oddly foreign world, "Okay Harri, what are you doing here?"

The boy babbled some type of answer, that Naruto expected were actual words, but had no idea as to their meaning. When Harri was finished with his nonsensical explanation, he stuck his fist back into his mouth, content.

"Hey gaki, stop chatting with the kid and come check this out," Jiraiya said, from where he'd stood up and found the dirty blanket. There was a small scorch mark on the corner that disfigured one of the animals. The other three- a stag, a dog, and a wolf- all posed proudly in golden thread against a crimson background.

Naruto clambered to his feet, somewhat clumsily as he was holding Harri at the same time, and had little to no knowledge of how to maneuver a child. By the time he reached the Pervy Sage, Jiraiya had already fished out a piece of paper and began reading it. He had paled significantly.

"Ero-Sennin, what's that?" Naruto demanded, anxiously, as he pressed Harri closer to him. The boy seemed delighted with this and used his free arm to cling to the blonde's neck like a monkey of some sort. Naruto peered at the oddly thick paper, and blinked, confused.

"What language is that, sensei?" he pointed to the paper, "I don't recognize it."

Jiraiya nodded. "I would be surprised if you did, gaki. This is a strange Western script that is mostly used for sending coded messages between the monks. I can decipher a little of it."

"So what does it say?" Naruto asked impatiently.

"Just a few words," Jiraiya scrutinized the paper briefly, "Orphan. Family. And... whirlpool." Naruto stared at the paper, wide-eyed.

Whirlpool? Like the name of his fallen clan? Jiraiya had told the boy a little of his heritage, excluding the identity of his parents. Naruto didn't begrudge his sensei- at least, not too much- since he could accept that some things were too dangerous to know. He had just been thrilled to know that he came from somewhere, and while saddened by the news of his clan's destruction, he was relieved that they had not rejected him.

Absently, Naruto's eyes fell on the toddler clutching at his body. Was this another Uzumaki? He didn't have the customary red hair, but then, neither did Naruto. He scrutinized the boy further, trying to look for more signs of similarity. The chin was a little too pointed, but the nose was the same- and so were the shape of the eyes. The bright green colour of his irises were also reassuring. Hadn't that been a common shade among the Uzumaki? Was he really not alone?

"Do you think this kid's part of the Uzumaki Clan, sensei?" Naruto asked, returning his hopeful gaze to his teacher.

Jiraiya was slow to reply. "Anything's possible, gaki. What I'm more concerned about though is how he was dropped between us in the middle of the night without either of us having noticed. And, as far as I can sense, we're completely alone now."

"I don't think he or she meant any harm, sensei," Naruto suggested, "No one attacked us, and our packs look undisturbed."

Jiraiya raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Alright, but I want to test his blood first. It could tell us if you two are related or not."

Naruto brightened and nodded, before smiling down at the toddler. Harri smiled back at him, mouth filled with small, developing teeth. This smile disappeared as the child's stomach rumbled, causing Harri to look at it in a mixture of confusion and crankiness.

Naruto was suddenly worried. "Ero-Sennin, we don't have anything to feed a baby! Harri's only one; what are we going to give him?"

Jiraiya waved his hands through the air in a nonchalant manner. "Second scroll to the right. Four pumps."

Naruto wandered over to the appropriate scroll, picked it up wearily, and added four spikes of chakra. He was pleasantly surprised when- with a small puff of smoke- a baby bottle, three packs of baby formula, two changes of clothing, two dozen diapers, and a sling appeared.

"Ero-Sennin, why do you have baby stuff with you?" Naruto asked, suspiciously. "Is there something that I should know?"

"Eh, the chicks dig a guy who's good with kids!" Jiraiya replied merrily, "Don't worry about how long its' been sealed there. I've put stasis seals on them."

In truth, Jiraiya had prepared that scroll a few days after Naruto was born. He had been so excited to raise the little tyke. Then Sarutobi-Sensei explained to him how taking a defenseless newborn into the wilds to spy on Hidden Villages was a Bad Idea. Jiraiya had acquiesced to the rule of his Kage- and logic- but didn't have the heart to unpack the scroll.

Not that he could tell Naruto this. It would lead to uncomfortable questions like "why would anyone give you custody a child"?

Fortunately for him, Naruto didn't appear all that interested in pursuing this line of thought. Instead Naruto had wandered over to their packs, a dubious look on his face as he attempted to mix the baby formula with some water from his canteen. The task was made more difficult by the dark-haired maybe-Uzumaki, who was gripping onto him without any intention of letting go.

"You're adding too much formula," Jiraiya said, snatching the bottle from the blonde's hands, "Do you want the milk to clump up?"

Naruto scowled. "Well, why don't you do it then, if you're such an expert?"

"I will," Jiraiya snorted, "Honestly, what do they teach you in those D-ranked babysitting missions? Kids, these days, so clueless…" Naruto was still scowling, but he did watch attentively, as Jiraiya neatly and efficiently prepared a bottle.

"Only a quarter of it should be formula… shake it thoroughly… wait for the foam to settle… now the trick, gaki, is to channel a little bit of chakra around the bottle, to heat up the milk… and ta-da!" When he was done, the white-haired Sannin, capped the bottle and offered it little Harri with a flourish. The toddler giggled, having been amused by the minor theatrics.

"At least, he's old enough to hold his own bottle," Jiraiya commented, as Harri curled up in Naruto's arms, looking perfectly content to be drinking his milk, while watching them with wide green-green eyes. To Jiraiya, who had been old enough to have been personally acquainted with Uzushiogakure, it was surreal.

"He's a mainliner," the older man muttered to himself.

"Huh? What the hell's that supposed to mean, Ero-Sennin?" Naruto asked, his keen ears having picked it up.

"Nothing too important, kiddo," Jiraiya said sheepishly, laughing a little at his student's thoroughly unimpressed look. _Jeesh, he may have Kushina's personality, but there are moments when he's definitely channeling you, Minato._

"Ero-Sennin…" the boy repeated, a hint of a whine entering his voice. Jiraiya rolled his eyes. _Accusing eyes and bitten lips, and he'd be the very reincarnation of Minato._

"The eyes of our new guest are a distinctive green, Naruto," the Sannin elaborated, "Specifically, they belong to the Main Branch of the Uzumaki, who dealt mostly with Fuuinjutsu. The other two branches were Healing and Kenjutsu oriented respectively, though all were above-average in Suiton Ninjutsu."

"Oh," Naruto perked up, as he always did when information about his family was presented. He looked down curiously at the bundle in his arms, only for guileless green eyes to look back. "Are we closely related than?"

"You could say that," Jiraiya responded evasively, "Your Uzumaki parent was from the same Branch." _And she was the heiress, but that's information for another day._

"So he's my cousin then!" Naruto said, a note of triumph in his voice. Harri didn't understand the words exchanged between the two shinobi, but he could hear the excited tone of voice, and let go of his bottle, to gleefully clap along. Jiraiya snatched the bottle from the air before it could fall.

"Did you hear that, Harri?" Naruto beamed, "We're family!" He lifted the boy up, and spun him around, his happy laughter mixing with Harri's delighted squeals.

"_**Spin more! Spin more!" **_Harri ordered, his new cousin unknowingly complying. Jiraiya allowed them to cheer for a moment longer, before he stopped the blonde.

"Don't get too excited, Naruto," he warned, "We're still not sure if Harri's an Uzumaki."

"But you think he is." Blue eyes were focused on him, tense and confident all at once.

"Yes… I do," Jiraiya admitted, "His parents are most likely dead. I wonder how he got here."

Naruto's eyes darkened. When he spoke, his voice held the low timber of the Kyuubi. "**Someone tried to kill Harri. They killed his parents… my cousins."**

"That someone is beyond our grasp for now," Jiraiya said sharply, "Naruto, stop. You're scaring the kid."

The growls stopped instantly, and Naruto made an apologetic look towards the whimpering boy. "Hey, it's okay," he muttered, one hand running down Harri's back comfortingly, "I won't hurt you, Harri."

"_**Scary voice," **_Harri hiccuped miserably, looking up at the blonde with accusing eyes, "_**Scary…"**_

"Is he speaking that Western script, sensei?"

"I think so," Jiraiya looked bewildered. "I had no idea people even spoke this anymore in the Elemental Nations. He's probably from across the oceans. Whoever transported him here would have had to use a lot of chakra."

"But you would have sensed that," Naruto pointed out.

"I know, and that's what worries me," Jiraiya grunted, looking thoughtful, "You know, there are a lot of types of chakra. There's the chakra humans use, nature chakra, bijuu chakra, divine chakra… this could be something I've never come across before!"

"You're _not_ experimenting on Harri-chan, sensei."

"Bah! I'm not going to do anything to _hurt _the brat. You sure got attached quickly, gaki."

Naruto looked back down at the child trustingly curled up in his arms, even as a blush suffused his cheeks. "Well, he's an orphan too, sensei, just like me," he said, defensively, "And Harri's probably the only other Uzumaki out there. We're family! And family sticks together."

"We can't drag a baby with us for your training trip, Naruto," Jiraiya groaned.

"Are you suggesting I give him away?" Naruto shouted, "HELL NO! He's my cousin!"

"It was worth a try," the white-haired man shrugged, ignoring the poisonous glare his apprentice sent with ease borne of long practice, "In that case, we'll need to build an identity for him."

"Can't we just say that he was an Uzumaki we found along the way?" Naruto asked, warily.

"Too risky," Jiraiya shook his head, "The village will need to do a background sweep, and the flash byway he arrived would gain too much of the _wrong_ kind of interest. Now, tell me, how do you feel about becoming an underaged father?"

Naruto's eyes bugged out. "_What_?" he choked, "I can't- you can't- I don't _believe_\- Ero-Sennin!"

"How else do you expect to keep the brat?" Jiraiya asked, with steel in his tone. "They'll take custody away from you, the second you step into Konoha."

"We're family!"

"You're a fifteen year old genin!" Jiraiya snapped, "You have a history of irresponsible decision-making! And this brat's at least a half-blooded mainline Uzumaki! Those are some valuable genes."

"Are you saying that some old geezer would take custody to take advantage of Harri's heritage?" Naruto demanded. Jiraiya sighed.

"That's exactly what I'm saying, gaki. It could have happened to you. It almost _did_ happen to you, but the Sandaime stopped the papers from going through in time."

"Ero-Sennin… I can't be a father…" Naruto mumbled, "I don't know anything about raising children!"

"Most men don't, at the beginning," Jiraiya agreed, "But you had better learn quick. That brat doesn't look like he's letting go of you anytime soon."

Naruto cringed as another thought occurred to him. "_Sakura's_ going to kill me. _Iruka-sensei's_ going to kill me. Baa-chan's going to _kill _me."

"Well, they probably suspected that I'd corrupt you in some way during our journey."

"Not funny, Ero-Sensei!"

"Please, gaki, this is hilarious!" Jiraiya laughed.

"They're going to blame you for all this," Naruto added. The Sannin sobered up pretty quickly at that.

"We all do what we have to do, gaki," he winced, "But as for the backstory… we'll need a woman with darker colouring, cute of course, preferably a ninja, and with a reason to give you custody of Harri."

"I doubt we'll find a woman with those qualifications sensei," Naruto groused, "And don't you think that this is _wrong_? We're stealing Harri-chan's actual parents from him!"

"Yes, we are, but we're doing it to protect him," Jiraiya replied, suddenly serious, "I've known many Uzumaki in my life, Naruto, and if even one of his parents held the family's traits, than they would be grateful to us for doing this. They would want Harri to be protected in the best way possible, and right now, that's making sure that no one has any reason to suspect his true background."

Seeing that Naruto still held some doubt in his face, he added. "And you can always tell Harri the truth when he gets older, Naruto. Keep the blanket and the letter. We might be able to use those clues to find out more about Harri's history."

Naruto bit his lip. "You're right, sensei…" _I would have wanted someone to take care of my child too. _

"Of course I am!" Jiraiya boomed, "And you're going to be even happier now, gaki. I've just decided on the perfect candidate for Harri's mother!"

"I don't think I want to know?" Naruto said, warily.

"Nonsense," Jiraiya replied merrily. "Now, have you ever considered visiting Nadeshiko Village?"

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	2. Ramen Impressment and Bonding

Chapter Two

"You know, Ero-Sennin, I'm not sure if this is the stupidest idea you've ever had, or if I'm being too optimistic."

"Oi! Shut up, gaki. This is a brilliant idea!"

"You want to drag me to a village full of warrior women, and talk their leader into pretending to have a child with me."

"Don't be so negative, gaki. You haven't even seen her yet!" Jiraiya leered.

"So I'll be spared the indignity of being killed by an ugly person," Naruto deadpanned, shifting a little so Harri could rest more comfortably against his chest. He had put on the baby sling and securely tied Harri into it. The adorable kid had fallen asleep soon after, from the exhaustion of whatever transportation method he had experienced, his warmed milk, and Naruto's steady heartbeat.

Now they were tree-jumping across the final stretch of Shidoni Pass. A few more hours, and they would enter the Land of Noodles. Two days, and a boat ride later, would find them in Mist Country and the Hidden Nadeshiko Village. Naruto cursed his inattention at the Academy, as the only thing he could remember about Nadeshiko, was that it was filled only with men-hating hot kunoichi.

Both Kiba and Ino had thought Iruka-sensei was joking about this, but for vastly different reasons.

"I doubt that she'll actively try to kill you," Jiraiya assured. A second later, "Now how good are you at dodging projectile weapons?"

"Ero-Sennin!"

"This is important, gaki. She laces them with wind chakra- you can't just block them!"

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When Harri had woken up, he had looked around, disoriented for a few seconds, before he recognized Naruto. At the sight of the blonde hair and smiling blue eyes, his rising panic had faded, and Harri have him a gummy smile back. Then Harri had peered around, hoping to catch sight of dark red hair or crooked glasses or shining gray eyes.

"_**Mummy? Dada? Pafoa?" **_Harri burbled hopefully. He felt at ease in the orange arms that clasped him so protectively, but was still mildly agitated by the lack of his family.

"What do you think he's saying, Ero-Sennin?" Naruto asked, worriedly, jumping down from the tree, and plucking him out of the sling. He held the squirming toddler up to his eyes, and looked at him with concern. The lightning bolt scar at his forehead seemed redder than yesterday. "Does his scar look different to you?"

Jiraiya peered at it. "There's something unusual about that scar," he said suspiciously, "But I can't feel any chakra inside."

"Is it hurting him?" Naruto demanded, looking worried. Jiraiya observed it for a few moments longer, one finger slipping over it to trace the sign. Harri squirmed in discomfort.

"No," the old man said finally, "It's not hurting him, and I don't think it'll hurt us either. That mark… it almost looks like part of a seal character. One that was _branded _to his head."

Naruto paled. "Someone cut a seal mark onto Harri's forehead?"

"No, it's a mark of protection," Jiraiya squinted, turning his head to the side, "That's an archaic sign, but I remember it from some of the Shodai's early works. Rebirth, perhaps, or renewal?"

Naruto brought the toddler closer to his chest, enclasping his arms around the body protectively. "Do you think one of his parents drew it on him for protection, and then when he was attacked, it got branded on as it activated?"

"It's a good bet, but seals like this need a trade component," Jiraiya explained, voice quiet and solemn, "You have to _want_ to die, in order for nothing else, but the holder of this seal to live. Whoever did this loved him more than anything in the world."

Naruto shuddered. They were in a sparsely planted forest, with a lot of sunlight falling through the canopy, and yet he felt cold. The shadows seemed just a shade darker right now.

"It was one of his parents."

"The Uzumaki one," Jiraiya corrected gently, "You would need a strong life force for this seal."

Naruto was silent for a minute. "I swear, then, to the Uzumaki who died to activate this seal… I'll take Harri in, and raise him like my own son. I'll love him and protect him the same way his parents did."

He blinked rapidly, as he felt moisture gather at the edges of his eyes. "Do you hear me, Harri? You had a mother or a father who really, really loved you. And I'll love you too. No matter what."

Harri looked distressed. His tiny hands curled around the lapels of Naruto's jacket. "_**I want Mummy!"**_

Naruto grimaced, easily guessing what his new ward had asked for. "I'm sorry, Harri, but they're gone."

"_**Mummy! Dada! Pafoa!" **_Harri said insistently, in a heartbroken voice. His eyes filled with tears. "_**Moony?"**_

Naruto stayed silent. Inexplicably, the child became angry.

"_**Mummy! Dada!" **_Harri shrieked, punching the blonde with tiny fists. "_**Pafoa! Where Pafoa?!**_"

"I'm sorry," Naruto repeated, walking over to a nearby tree, and sitting down. His arms clung more tightly to the dark-haired boy, as he rocked back and forth, and let Harri cry. Jiraiya turned away to give them some privacy.

"_**Pafoa!**_" Harri sobbed, "_**Pafoa! Dada! Mummy… where Mummy?" **_

"_**Where Mummy go?"**_

xxxxxx

The next few hours of their journey was morose. Harri had exhausted himself from crying, and Naruto had only been able to coax a few mouthfuls of milk, before he went back to sleep. The blonde himself had been uncharacteristically quiet, turning from depressed to guilty to angry and back again, in an endless cycle.

Jiraiya had given the boy some space to mourn. Naruto had never had any family, and the loss of one was bound to strike him hard, even though he had never met the person, and didn't even know if it was a woman or a man. But the genin did know that this person was definitely Uzumaki, and had just recently died for his or her child, so Naruto honoured this relative and his or her spouse by mourning them. He was also uncharacteristically furious, at whatever bastard was out there killing Uzumaki.

Sometime in one of his depressed states, Naruto came to an epiphany. _He_ was the one responsible for Harri's welfare. The blonde had accepted this duty willingly, seeing as Harri was family, and a recently orphaned one on top of that. He had no one else to care for him, but Naruto, and the blonde would be there for him, in a way no one was for him.

But that had been the choice of familial duty, and while Naruto had willingly borne it, he didn't _choose _to do so. Now, he realized that he _wanted_ to take on this child, who was an orphan at such a young age, and marked by a seal just like he was. He wanted to track down this bastard, who wasn't just killing Uzumaki and branding babies, but who had attacked Harri specifically. He had a fierce desire to protect this child, and Naruto wasn't quite sure why.

"Ero-Sennin, are there ways to _make_ someone want to take care of someone else?" Naruto asked, finally breaking the long silence between them.

"Yes," Jiraiya hesitated, "But the ones that I think of are either widely dispersed, meaning I should feel it too, or catch a specific target through applying poisons and such. You haven't eaten anything in the last few days that I haven't given you, have you?"

Naruto shook his head. "Then the likelihood of someone compelling you to take care of Harri is low. Honestly, I think it might be the chakra."

"What do you mean?"

Jiraiya shrugged. "Well basic chakra theory suggests that children form a natural resistance to their parent's killing intent because they have similar chakra signatures. And that this is why most clan members have the same chakra affinities. Harri subconsciously registers you as 'familiar' and 'safe', making him trust you right off the bat. Likewise, your instincts will scream 'family', and feel protective."

"Good, I was worried about that," Naruto confessed. _Harri really is family. I guess it won't be too much of a lie to pretend to be his father, if only to keep him in my custody._

"Ero-Sennin, we'll need to stop at a village soon," Naruto added, "The milk is okay for now, but I want to get Harri's old enough to eat some solids, and I want to buy a book on raising children."

"I always knew I would hear you say that," Jiraiya sighed gustily, "Only in my mind, you weren't a virgin anymore."

"_Ero-Sennin!"_

xxxxxxxxx

"Oh, are those your sons? They're so adorable!"

Jiraiya laughed modestly, waving off the woman's words. "The blonde one is my son, Naruto. And the dark-haired one is my grandson, Harri."

"But where's his wife?" another woman asked, pushing long brown locks behind her ears, as she looked up to the Sannin with wide, concerned eyes.

Jiraiya adopted a sad look. "I'm afraid it's just me and my boy…" The women sympathetically cooed.

"He looks so young to be having a son." A third woman, with short, blonde hair commented.

Jiraiya nodded sadly. "It's difficult for him, but I think he's responsible enough to learn. And I'm here, of course, to help him along the way."

"That's just so sweet of you!"

"I do what I must," Jiraiya murmured, piously, bending his head, "I'm just glad that I raised Naruto to be a good man. He'll be a great father to Harri."

"I'm sure you son will raise him just as well as you raised him!" another woman assured.

"And this Harri," Naruto whispered to the boy's ear from where they stood afar, "Is the bullshit pulled by a complete baka."

"Ba-ka?" Harri repeated. Naruto paused.

"Eh, don't remember that. Now come on, we have to buy a few more things." They were in a mid-sized town, just at the border of Noodle Country. Jiraiya had chosen this place because a lot of visitors passed through, especially in the spring and summer trading seasons, and they wouldn't look too out of place.

There was a general store in the marketplace that Naruto went to first, one hand balancing Harri to his chest, while the other slipped into his pocket to check if his wallet was there. When one was travelling with Jiraiya, the Millionaire Cheapskate, one couldn't be too careful.

Ignoring the curious eyes of the people in the store, Naruto headed towards the closest shelves, and began scanning for things Harri might need. A warm jacket for Mist Country, at least two pairs of baby sandals, and a lot more diapers. He hadn't had to change the toddler yet, but he probably would have to soon, and didn't think that the two dozen he had available would last him for the entirety of their Mist journey. Aagh, he had no idea what to buy for a baby!

Naruto must have looked truly pitiful, because one of the sales girls walked up to him with a pleasant face. "Excuse me, sir, would you need any assistance? I'm Mebuki."

Naruto looked up with pure relief. "Yes please, Mebuki-san," he grinned, and gestured to the toddler in his arms, "Harri and I are about to go on a long trip, and I have no idea what to buy!"

"If you don't mind me asking, how long will this trip be?" the sales assistant smiled kindly at the boy.

"At least a month," Naruto scratched his head, "Maybe two. And we'll be high up in the mountains, so Harri will need warm clothes. I'm already set for that."

"I see," the assistant nodded, "And what do you have with you now?" Naruto described the baby stuff in Ero-Sennin's scroll, and felt his stomach drop when the assistant looked horrified.

"You were going to take a baby on a month long trip with just _that_?" she demanded. Naruto blushed.

"Er, I wasn't really sure what to get him," Naruto answered, hesitantly.

"Where are his parents?" Mebuki asked. She took a closer look at the dark-haired toddler quietly resting against the boy's chest. He had the loveliest green eyes, and didn't look much at all like the blonde.

Naruto blushed again. "He's my son," he answered, adding in a defensive tone, "He inherited his mother's colouring. She's not here. I'm taking care of him by myself."

The assistant looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry, sir. That was rude of me."

"It's fine," Naruto answered stiffly, looking away from her. "Um… Can you help me now?"

"Of course!" Mebuki exclaimed, "It's so brave of you to raise a child alone. And your son is simply adorable!"

Naruto smiled, a foreign feeling entering his chest. Was that pride? "Harri's pretty well-behaved actually. No clue where he got that from."

"Still, it's a great responsibility that you're taking on by yourself," she insisted, "Now you'll need to get baby powder, some creams for sensitive skin, a few sets of clothing, baby shampoo, baby food…"

Naruto followed behind her, far out of his depth, but still listening intently as she filled the basket in his arms with all manner of goods. He was staring at the clothing section, idly debating the merits of an all-orange wardrobe to himself, when Harri finally chose to act.

"_**Pafoa!**_" Harri shouted, suddenly struggling against Naruto's grasp as they came to a table full of plushies. The blonde almost dropped him, at the sudden movement, but managed to catch him in time.

"Harri, don't just move like that," the blonde scolded, "I could have dropped you!"

The toddler ignored him, straining towards the table and making grabby motions with his hands. "_**Pafoa! Mine? Pwease?**_"

"Do you want one of these toys?" Naruto asked, bringing Harri closer to the table. His young hands unerringly reached for a big black dog, which he hugged to himself. A smile spread across Harri's face.

"_**Pafoa!**_" Harri said, pushing the dog's furry face against Naruto's cheek. The blonde laughed at his charge's enthusiasm.

"Okay Harri, we can get that toy too," he said. The toddler must have understood his tone at least, because he cheered. _So Pafoa was probably some type of pet then. _

They finished their shopping rather quickly after that, and as they stepped out, Naruto was burdened down by four big shopping bags in one arm, and a happy toddler in the other. Harri was clenching Pafoa rather tightly to himself, and seemed a little less sad now than in the morning, for which Naruto was glad. Gama-chan had unfortunately been emptied, but Naruto could probably pick up an odd job or two at Nadeshiko to refill him up somewhat. Raising a child was more expensive than he thought.

"Okay Harri-chan, let's go find your Jiji, before he gets killed by an angry woman."

Harri giggled. He didn't know the language of the Elemental nations yet, but Naruto was sure that he would learn quickly. Children pick this stuff up with ease, and Harri struck him as a smart kid.

No time like the present to start practicing though, so as they walked around the village, looking for Jiraiya, Naruto occasionally pointed as something and spoke its name. By the time they finally reached the bleeding and bruised form of the Sannin, right outside the local bathhouse incidentally, Harri had repeated the words for 'tree', 'house', 'bird', 'flower', and 'horse', among others.

When they saw Jiraiya, Harri pointed at the man and said, in his clear and innocent tone, "Ba-ka?"

xxxxxxxxx

The rest of that day, and the next, passed in an odd sort of normal. They didn't get much training done, as they were constantly on the move, using the rarely travelled mountain passes to make their way through the Land of Noodles. Their next destination would be a port town, where Jiraiya could bargain for passage to Mist Country. While Naruto was mildly disappointed in not being able to go on a ramen pilgrimage in this aptly named nation, he was too engrossed in taking care of Harri to complain overmuch.

The blonde had finally perfected the art of mixing a bottle of milk, and primarily fed this to the boy, with an occasional share of mushy carrots, mushy peas, or- Harri's favorite- mushy peaches. Not that Naruto could tell the difference if not for the labels; they were all the same unappetizing colour of yellow-brown. He hadn't been able to give Harri a bath yet, but since the kid spent most of his time cuddling Pafoa in the sling, he didn't really smell. As for changing diapers… that was an experience.

As Naruto Uzumaki got his crash course in raising a child, he found himself growing even more fond of the dark-haired, green-eyed toddler. Harri was mostly a quiet boy, though whether that was his normal state or the result of the last few days, Naruto didn't know, and was content to amuse himself with his toy, as the blonde read the baby-rearing book by the fire. As Naruto had previously suspected, he was also very smart, already being able to distinguish between words Naruto spoke, and make a few associations with the objects near them.

Most of all, Harri seemed to rely on him, in a way no one else ever had. Naruto was the first person he turned to when he woke up, and the last face he saw before he fell asleep. He regarded the blonde boy with a sort of innocent adoration, that made Naruto's heart ache.

It wasn't that he hadn't ever considered creating his own family, but who would marry a jinchuuriki?

_**Somewhere in the Land of Kami, the Shodaime and Yondaime Hokages both sneezed.**_

Harri was, in some ways, a great blessing for him, and the blonde felt a little guilty to think of that, when he remembered the circumstances which brought the boy to him. Once again, he renewed the vow he made to that unknown Uzumaki relative who had sacrificed everything for this child.

"Naruto," Jiraiya called, from up ahead, "We're going to enter the city soon. So hurry up, I want to visit the Red Light District!"

Naruto rolled his eyes, but quickened the pace. "Stop being such a lecher, sensei!"

xxxxxxxxxx

"Two bowls of Miso please, old man!"

Minami Arata stared at the cheerful blonde teenager who had just ducked under the curtains of his ramen stall. Nodding curtly, he turned to fill in the order, unable to resist another look at the boy. As a stall owner in Takari, a major port city, he had seen his fair share of shinobi. But this Leaf Nin was unlike anyone else he had ever met. Orange was hardly a ninja color, though admittedly it was a burnt shade and paired with black. And why was he wearing a baby sling?

"This is ramen, Harri-chan," the ninja was loudly speaking to a solemn toddler with wide green eyes and inky black hair, "It's the food of the gods, and proof that Kami really does care about us. You'll love it! There's all kinds of flavors: Miso, Pork, Chicken, Shrimp, Beef, Salt, and more! We'll try every one of them until you find your favorite!"

Minami couldn't help but smile at the eager tone in his customer's voice, and the way the kid was just nodding along to every word. He was probably too young to understand any of it, but it was still cute.

"Your little brother?" Minami asked gruffly, nodding the boy. They didn't look anything alike, unless you counted the untamable hair, but what else would a Konoha nin be doing in these parts with a kid?

"My son, actually," Naruto grinned sheepishly, at the skepticism in the man's face, "Heh, he looks a lot like his mother."

Minami wasn't sure if the blonde was old enough to have a kid- he looked fourteen or fifteen- but kept his mouth shut. Ramen stall owners like him didn't know the finer points of ninja culture. Maybe having children young was common for them?

"This is his first taste of ramen," Naruto continued, offering the stall keeper a wide grin. Minami watched, intrigued, as the teen picked up the chopsticks with a finesse he wouldn't have attributed to a teen with such rough movements and big hands. The boy brought the noodles to his lips and blew on them softly, until they were cool enough to offer to the toddler.

"Come on Harri, open up," Naruto crooned, "This is yummy, yummy ramen. Much better than that yucky baby food."

The dark-haired toddler obediently opened his mouth, accepting a small bit of noodle. Tiny teeth easily tore up the soft noodles, and then he swallowed. A heartbeat later, and Harri smiled.

"Yummy!" Harri repeated, opening his mouth again, "Ramen?"

"Yes!" Naruto's fist punched the air, as though he had just accomplished something noteworthy, "My son loves ramen too! Woo-hoo!"

Harri clapped along, sharing in the older boy's happiness. Minami stepped away to serve some other customers, occasionally looking back to see the young teen enjoying his own ramen or coaxing a few bites into his son's mouth. They made an adorable sight, and soon he wasn't the only one shooting them the odd indulgent smile or approving grin. Quite a few girls even sighed over the cute scene.

"Your bill, sir," Minami finally said, when they were done with their meal. The blonde teen took out a few bills, and counted them, before handing them over.

"Thanks for the great meal," Naruto told him. Minami smiled, and offered a short bow.

"It was my pleasure," he replied, "If you ever return to Takari, please visit Minami's Ramen again."

"I'll be sure to do that," Naruto nodded, standing up, and picking up his son. "Say goodbye, Harri."

The dark-haired boy blushed at the unexpected attention from the stall keeper, and said a soft 'bye' before ducking his face against his father's shoulder. Minami chuckled.

"By the way, I'm Naruto," the blonde added, offering his hand for a shake. "Naruto Uzumaki!"

After they shook hands, the blonde ducked back out, leaving the stand as fluidly as he entered it. Minami simply stood there, a bemused smile tugging at his lips, as he returned to making his ramen. Naruto Uzumaki… Why did that name seem familiar to him?

_It probably isn't anything important_, he decided, turning his attention back to work. He was going to have to visit the market later. Some more exports of fresh fish from Wave came in this morning, and he wanted to get a good deal. _Wait, Wave? Kami, that kid was _the _Naruto Uzumaki?!_

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	3. Unexpected Engagements and Rat Hunting

Chapter Three

"Bird!" Harri shouted gleefully, pointing at the seagulls sweeping over their heads.

They were on the deck of a merchant ship, in the middle of the ocean, with expanses of blue out as far as the eye could see. Naruto was holding Harri against the railing, feet anchored to the wood with chakra as an extra precaution, as they enjoyed the mild salty breezes coming in from the sea. This looked to be Harri's first time glimpsing the ocean, and the toddler was thoroughly enjoying it.

"Yes, that's another bird," Naruto agreed. The gentle swaying under his feet, of the world being not quite steady, appealed to him. He could see why people would choose a life out on the sea.

"Bread?" Harri asked, looking up with hopeful eyes. One hand still clutching Pafoa, to which Harri had gotten deeply attached, he used the other to tug impatiently at Naruto's jacket.

"Only one more time, Harri," the blonde warned, taking out the last torn piece of bread from his pocket, and ripping it up further. The black-haired boy then took great delight in tossing them into the air, watching the seagulls converge on the crumbs to fight over them.

"Shinobi-san," one of the sailors on board approached them, and Naruto straightened to meet him. The blonde quickly scooped the toddler back up, and held him in his arms.

"Yes sir?" Naruto asked, employing a friendly smile.

"Your sensei is calling for you," the man elaborated, before turning and heading away. "Oh, and he said he'll be downstairs waiting for you."

"Thanks," Naruto replied, before turning and heading to where Jiraiya was. His errant sensei was sitting on a crate, a battered table in front of him, filled with half-filled scrolls. A saucer of sake sat nearby.

"Jiji!" Harri exclaimed, once he saw the old man. Jiraiya gave that odd half-jerk he always did whenever Harri called him that, before catching himself and offering the toddler a huge smile.

"Hey brat," the Sannin acknowledged, ruffling his tousled black hair with an ink stained hand. "Have fun with the birds?"

"Bird eat bread!" Harri replied excitedly, chattering in that odd mix he had of the Elemental language and his original Western script, "Gave _**me **_bread, _**and **_bird fly _**to it and fight. **_Eat _**it all. And **_Harri _**say 'more **_bread'_**, and more **_bread come!"

Jiraiya nodded solemnly. "That was good then. Now, gaki, sit down. Make the kid a bottle or something. I have to talk to you, and it might take a while."

Naruto looked dubiously around the room, before spotting another crate, and dragging it to the table. He efficiently warmed a prepared bottle of milk for Harri, and propped it in his small hands. The toddler pouted when he saw he was being ignored, but accepted the meal anyway.

"What do you have to say to me, sensei?" Naruto asked.

"Well I haven't been entirely truthful with you," Jiraiya sighed, catching sight of Naruto's indignant scowl, "Nothing too important, gaki, and I was going to let you walk into the situation and find out yourself, before I changed my mind. You have to watch out for the brat now too, and that means you'll need every piece of information available to you to ensure the best outcome."

"So what is this information then?" Naruto's tone was irritated, but not too unhappy. He knew his sensei's usual tricks after all. The man would have loved for him to walk into the situation half-blind, especially since this wasn't particularly dangerous, just to teach him a lesson. It was only his concern for Harri that had him choose otherwise, and at least he was telling the blonde now.

"You know that this won't be my first trip to Nadeshiko Village," Jiraiya said carefully. Naruto nodded. It was a good bet that Jiraiya had been there before. His sensei travelled widely to maintain his spy networks, and he already seemed to know the perfect woman to pair him with in the village.

"Well, the first time I went there, I kind of got into a fight," Jiraiya continued sheepishly, "With the leader, when she caught me in one of my… activities."

Naruto paled. Oh Kami, his sensei was a self-proclaimed super pervert, and he was following him into a village full of strong kunoichi, who hated men. And already had a grudge against him.

He was so screwed.

"Anyway, we kind of got into a fight, and I may have been drunk, and maybe some terms were exchanged," Jiraiya coughed, "And I kind of agreed to let her daughter marryoneofmystudents."

Naruto couldn't believe his ears. "What?" he hissed.

Jiraiya's face was definitely sheepish. "I- uh- agreed to let her daughter marry one of my students. Ahem, you specifically."

"Me?" Naruto repeated, voice strangled, "You agreed to let some girl **marry** me?"

Jiraiya shifted uncomfortably. "Well it technically stated that she would marry one of my students," he clarified, "But my others were already either dead or married at that point, so it was made with you in mind."

"With me in mind?" Naruto voiced his disbelief, "How _old_ was I then?"

"Three months… before being born," Jiraiya looked away, "In my defense, your mother kept saying that she was confident you were going to be a girl…"

"How did you even know I would be your apprentice then?" Naruto demanded.

"I was- ah- good friends with your parents, Naruto," the white haired man continued, "I had every intention of asking you to be my apprentice from the second I knew you were going to be born."

The Sannin then shot a boastful smile over to the fuming blonde. "And of course, you would say 'yes' as I am the Great and Gallant Toad Sage-ack!" Jiraiya's words were cut off as Naruto's fist came swinging down at his head. The white-haired man's head crashed down on the wood, creating a loud bang.

Harri removed his bottle from his mouth, and gently patted the groaning man with a comforting hand. "Jiji?" he asked, worriedly.

"Don't bother to pity that baka, Harri-chan," Naruto huffed, disgusted, as he sat back down. "He doesn't deserve it." The blonde waited until Jiraiya had sat back up, before fixing him with a thoroughly unimpressed look.

"You arranged a betrothal for me before I was even born with some girl from _another country_ that I had never met," Naruto deadpanned, "And you were going to let me walk into this situation blind?"

"Hey, I added conditions to the marriage," Jiraiya protested immediately.

"And what were they?" Naruto pressed. The white-haired man wilted.

"Eh, good question. I can't seem to recall them right now." Naruto resisted the urge to strangle his sensei. He managed it, if only to keep Harri from watching him kill someone with his bare hands.

"And what if I meet these conditions by accident?"

Jiraiya waved his hand nonchalantly in the air. "Oh, don't worry about that, gaki," he answered brightly, "Akari-chan wasn't really pleased with losing to me, and gave me a set of conditions that she swore no student of mine will ever accomplish!"

Naruto relaxed a little, but still kept his glare on the other man. "Are there any _other _betrothals I need to be worried about?"

Jiraiya considered it. "Not that I can remember…"

"And you were planning on asking this woman if her daughter would be the fake mother of my child," Naruto leaned back against the wall. "You've got balls of steel, sensei."

The Sannin grinned at him. "It just comes with the territory of being unashamedly awesome, Naruto. Now do me a favor, and don't even talk to the leader or anyone around her when we're there, okay? I don't want you to accidentally stumble into a marriage."

Naruto snorted. "I wouldn't even be in these situations if it wasn't for you, lecher. I wonder if Sakura's up to exchanging Masters?"

"Take that back, gaki!" Jiraiya pointed at him indignantly, "I am, by far, the greatest sensei of the Sannin! I've never thrown boulders at any of my students, or tried to steal their bodies!"

"You say that like it's some great accomplishment," Naruto muttered, slouching again. And this was the man he was relying on for his cover story? _I'm so screwed. _

xxxxxxxx

Water Country, Naruto was dismayed to find out, was wet. Now, while this may have been implied in the name, the blonde had always thought it meant it had a lot of lakes, and rivers, and such. It did mean that, but it also meant a perpetual fog, so thick that Naruto swore it was one of Zabuza's jutsu, and lots of humidity. Kami, the humidity.

"Naru," Harri said miserably, tugging on his jacket again, "Me wet."

"I know, Harri-chan, I know," Naruto replied soothingly, unzipping the toddler's cute black and blue jacket, and showing a white shirt underneath. He had been weary of the colors at first, as they were originally Sasuke's, but they fit Harri so well, that Naruto couldn't resist.

They were on a muddy path, trudging along mangrove trees, in an attempt to traverse the small island they were on, and water walk to the next one. Nadeshiko Village was apparently located in one of the smaller islands ringing around the mainland of Water Country, a few miles off the coast, and close enough to the Capital to take missions there. The Hidden Village of the Mist allowed them to take priority missions from the Daimyo and assorted officials, the ones that necessitated too short a time for their ninja to travel, in exchange for an oath of fealty to the country.

Nadeshiko Village was unique among ninja villages, in that it was allowed to co-exist in the same country as one of the major five Hidden Villages, and have a semi-autonomous relationship with the Daimyo. Although it was not a hidden village per se, it received many of the same privileges, including the right to take missions, have a military independent of the Daimyo's, and form treaties. During the recent Bloodline Wars, Nadeshiko offered sanctuary to female kekkei genkai wielders, and their families, while simultaneously closing its borders to Mist ninja. Mizugakure had attempted to take control of the village numerous times in the past, but had been repelled each time. Although some believed that the barely tolerant relationship between the two villages would thaw now, since a more open-minded, and not to mention female, leader came to power in Mist.

"Ero-Sennin, does Mizu have a bad relationship with Konoha?" Naruto asked, one eye carefully trained on the ground to spot any shaky ground that was more mud than soil at this point.

"We don't have any treaties with them," Jiraiya replied, "But we don't have any antagonistic feelings towards one another either."

"Then why couldn't we stay on the ship until it reached the mainland, and then travel to Nadeshiko?" Naruto grimaced, "It would keep us from having to go through all this mud."

"Mud," Harri moaned piteously, "Wet."

"Hey, you have nothing to complain about, brat," Jiraiya scolded, sounding more amused than anything else. "You're being carried around by Naruto."

Harri merely burrowed his head into the blonde teen's shoulder and refused to reply.

"As for your answer, I want to keep our visit as quiet as possible," Jiraiya explained, "We may not have a bad relationship with Mizu, but for some reason, foreign leaders tend to get nervous when I enter their territory."

Naruto looked at him shrewdly. "So how much do you know about the Blood Wars, sensei?"

"Not much more than the average jounin," Jiraiya admitted, reluctantly, "A lot of my spies died in the conflict. But the leader of the Rebellion, and current Mizukage, is said to have two kekkei genkais, and be a bombshell on top of that. They say she has a pair of knockers to rival Tsunade's!" Naruto turned away, embarrassed for his sensei, as the old man gazed off into the distance dreamily.

"I personally don't believe it," the Sannin continued, "Tsunade's knockers are one of a kind, gaki. They're large and soft, like perfect milk-white melons, but still perky. They won't be unseated by just any interloper! But as is the duty of all perverts, I am honor bound to explore this rumor in-depth, to make truly informed decisions about the best bazookas in the Elemental Nations!"

By this point, Naruto had hurried forward until there were a good five meters from him and his sensei. He went unnoticed, because Jiraiya was still rhapsodizing about the wonder of the Hokage's mammaries, and was rather thankful for that. This really wasn't the kind of language he wanted Harri exposed to.

"How difficult would it be to dodge boulders, anyway?" Naruto mused.

xxxxxxx

Back in Scotland, in the rather curious office of an eccentric yet brilliant Headmaster, an immortal being of fire was preening. Fawkes had been quite pleased with himself when he circumvented his human's stupidity, and sent the Potter child with the other-magic to his true family. When he had communicated with the other-magic, the one that spun and danced in the endless loops of whirlpools, Fawkes had learned of some truly shocking news.

The dog-man with the laughing gray eyes was not the Potter's Secret Keeper!

Fawkes had heard of his human's plan to protect the Potter family with soul-binding magic of old. The phoenix had approved of this decision, as the space cloaking spell would neatly solve the issue by removing the Potter home from the physical dimension. It was an ideal solution, if not for the fact that the Potter's had chosen a _predatel, _a traitor, for the soul binding.

His human had told him that this traitor was the dog-man- to which, Fawkes had been understandably confused. Could the magic of dark chocolate and owl feathers and roasted almonds belong to a traitor? Then he learned that his 'touch' had not been mistaken, and that the dog-man truly was innocent.

Fawkes had been most distressed by this revelation at first. He knew that the dog-man was currently hunting the rat-man, and, maddened by grief as he was, would make a hasty decision and attempt to kill him. The pure soul of a phoenix had cringed away from the murder of another being, even one as worthless as a _predatel,_ and the bird had felt dismayed when he considered what the outcome of this would do to the dog-man's already fracturing soul. War truly tore men apart far more than any other undertaking.

Fawkes hadn't been able to allow the dog-man to tear his soul like this! Murder, especially murder done by an avenging soul, would cast a shadow in the wizard child's soul. It would be a burden he would have to carry for the rest of his life.

Unable to let anyone make such an inherently wrong decision, especially one suffering the grief of losing a nestmate, such as the dog-man, Fawkes had taken action. Once again, he had bypassed his human- _Albus was a good man, but was currently busy trying to track down the dog-child, silly wizard that he was_\- and had set his being aflame.

Magic- nature's magic, Hogwart's magic, the magic of ley lines and many, many, _many _wizarding children- had wrapped around his beautiful scarlet plumage and set it alight. His senses had expanded until it was honed on a spherical ball of magic tied around by wisps of soul binds and dark webs of snake filigree. Fawkes had given a short, bitter, triumphant trill, before travelling to that magic. The rat-man had looked up, shocked and terrified, but unable to take action until the phoenix's sharp claws wrapped around his shoulder and his flame spread.

The _predatal _had shrieked in pain, and tried to shake the bird off, but Fawkes was relentless. Orange-gold licks of fire spread further and further, down his arms- around the sickly glowing mark of the skull and serpent- to his chest, and legs, and the edges of his fingertips. Finally, the man succumbed to the pain, falling unconscious from third-degree and second-degree burns throughout his entire body. The only parts that were spared were his upper left arm, with the mark, and his face. He was without a stitch of clothing.

A smug Fawkes then fire-travelled him to his human's office, and was now perched on Albus' throne-like chair, preening. On the desk was the smoking and moaning form of Peter Pettigrew, the true Secret Keeper of the Potters. He was also now an outed Death Eater, if Fawkes read the horrified proclamations of his human's picture-mates correctly. Ignoring the disgusting, pudgy man in front of him, Fawkes turned his attention to grooming his lovely scarlet and gold feathers.

He wished to look as majestic as possible, when Albus came barging into his office in a few minutes. His human would undoubtedly be very grateful for Fawkes' prompt handling of the matter, and show his gratitude through many praises and offerings of fresh fruit. Fawkes would generously accept this, to show Albus that he was not disappointed in the old man's dismal take of the situation.

His human may have been a very clever wizard, but he _was_ still just a wizard.

xxxxxxxxx

_**First of all, I was pleasantly surprised by the sheer amount of attention this story was gaining. Only two chapters in and already 40 reviews! I'm glad that everyone liked it so far, and that so many people took the time out to tell me that. It's an excellent impetus for getting the next chapters out as soon as possible.**_

_**And now, a warning. If people have read my previous stories, than they likely know that I have an updating problem. This is for a number of reasons, including having so many different ideas for so many stories, and a severe lack of free time. I'm partially free of the second issue for at least the next week, and hope to get some traction in the story during this time. I should state though, that the weeks following that will have a hundred different things for me to do, and I'll fall back on my updating then. **_

_**Also, I've decided to make Fawkes Russian, for no reason whatsoever. And if anyone has the time, can they tell me if I should continue adding snapshots of the Wizarding world? The main focus of the story will be Naruto and Harry of course, in the Narutoverse, but depending on how much people like Fawkes' occasional bouts of awesomeness, I'll add more. **_


	4. Nadeshiko Village and Rumors

Chapter Four

"Who names a bridge after a fishcake? What a stupid name."

Sasuke's ears pricked at the white-haired shinobi's words, and he allowed himself to briefly look up to the sign. They were in Wave, the place of his very first C-ranked mission, and in front of a huge, imposing bridge made of stone, steel, and petrified wood. A smile flickered over his face as he saw the orange lettering. _The Great Naruto Bridge. _Hn.

"Hey, what's wrong with you Sasuke?" Suigetsu demanded, a mouthful of sharp teeth bared in a smile. "Stop standing there! We have to go and get the sword!"

"You idiot!" another member of his team, a young woman with a shock of blood red hair hung messily down to her shoulders, shouted. She hit the kenjutsu wielder over the head. "Show Sasuke-sama some respect!"

"I was only asking him a question, Karin!" Suigetsu shouted back, attention instantly shifting to the loud girl, "Do you have to sound like a shrew every time you open your mouth?!"

Karin cracked her knuckles ominously. "_What_ did you just call me shark-boy?"

"A shrew! Don't tell me your shrill voice blew out your own hearing too!"

"Damn it, Seigetsu, this is the last straw! Get ready for a world of pain!"

"Bring it on, four-eyes! I could tie two hands behind my back, and still- hey!"

"Would you like me to stop them, Sasuke-sama?" the last member of their party, a broad-shouldered teen with bright orange hair, asked quietly.

Their raven-haired leader shook his head. Sasuke took a moment to be silently grateful for Jugo's calm, serious nature- he couldn't have bared a third shrieker on the team; Naruto and Sakura had only conditioned his tolerance for two- before he replied.

"Wait for them to finish arguing, and take them to Zabuza's grave," Sasuke answered, "Then find the inn closest to the bridge and book four rooms there."

Jugo nodded, already aware of Sasuke's silent command to pick a room as far away from Karin as possible for him. The red-haired girl was Sakura's more confident, more terrifying counterpart.

Sasuke made a Shunshin, and left the bridge before Karin could break off her argument long enough to irritate him. He walked around the village for a while, keen eyes scanning the area for any interesting tidbits of information. The Uchiha mentally debated with himself for a second, before he walked into a bar. This would be the best place to get gossip that might assist him in catching Itachi.

He had just settled in, with a cup of the weakest sake he could accept without coming off as a wimp, when the two men came in. There wasn't anything particularly interesting about them- minor merchants, he was sure- but for the words they just said.

"-sure it was Uzumaki!" the first one exclaimed. Sasuke mentally dubbed him Beetle, for the tiny black eyes that glittered as he spoke.

The other one seemed a pleasant, cheery fellow with a body that would be kindly called plump. Merchant-Chouji was nodding along eagerly, eyes fastened to his friend. Sasuke's ears perked up.

"It's nice to know that the Hero of Wave is happy and healthy," Merchant-Chouji mused.

"Oi! Kato, what are you and Nari blabbing about over there?" another bar member asked, clasping Beetle good-naturedly on the back.

"Well, I just got back from a trip to the Land of Honey," Beetle grinned slyly, "And when I was there, one of my regular customers, Minami, came around to pick up some fish. He knows that he won't find any fresher than good, old Wave cod!"

"Damn straight!" one of the listeners yelled, to answering laughter.

"Anyway, when Minami was there, we struck up a conversation," Beetle smirked, "Said he met an interesting ninja at his ramen stand. Really stood out in his mind, see, as a rather unique fella…"

Sasuke's breath hitched. He pressed the cup of sake to his lips to hide the reaction, and steadied his breathing.

"Really friendly, he was, and wore the oddest jumpsuit," Beetle continued.

"Stop actin' like a teasin' barmaid and just spit it out already Nari!"

"It was Naruto Uzumaki!" Merchant-Chouji blurt out, clearly unable to hold it in anymore.

Sasuke took another long gulp of his sake, as a wave of realization swept over the bar. Many of the fishermen, merchants, and assorted Wave citizens knew about Wave's ninja hero. Those who hadn't met the sunny blonde personally, had heard the story relayed over and over again, of the time Naruto and his team liberated Wave from the tyrant Gato.

"Are you sure?" one of the burly men, a construction worker asked, interestedly. "Tazuna would like to know if he's doing well."

"Blonde hair, blue eyes, orange jumpsuit," Beetle listed, seemingly not at all displeased about his friend just stealing his thunder. Instead, he just stood there and smirked.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. _What else did he know?_

"Sounds like Uzumaki, alright," the construction worker said, grinning. "Tell me you bought him a drink."

"I wasn't the one who got to see him, Minami was," Beetle replied, walking up to a stool near Sasuke, and taking a seat, "And he didn't figure it out until the boy had already left. Don't blame him though. He had an unusual travelling companion."

Sasuke's eyebrow lifted. The Avenger waited impatiently as the other bar members plied the smug merchant with alcohol and demanded more details.

"Minami said that he had a toddler with him," Beetle said, with relish, "Cute little thing too. And apparently loves ramen just as much as his daddy."

As the bar was filled with exclamations of shock and happiness, Sasuke stilled.

_Daddy?_

xxxxxxx

Since Jiraiya had chosen to ditch them the second they had reached the great wooden walls of Nadeshiko, Naruto chose to walk around with Harri and get familiar with the town. It would give them some time to practice Harri's language skills, while also allowing Naruto to pinpoint good areas for buffer in a fight. Besides, it would probably be safer to not be associated with a known pervert in a village full of trained kunoichi.

He was pleasantly surprised to note that he wasn't receiving any dark glares from the residents here. Instead, the women were determinedly pretending that he didn't exist, which was just fine for Naruto, since he was having a perfectly good time with Harri.

"Tree," Naruto enunciated clearly, pausing by the large oak and placing his hand against the bark. Harri mimicked his actions, and smiled.

"Tu-ree," he repeated, recognizing the familiar word. Naruto had used it at least four times when they were in their last village.

A bit of an overachiever, the black-haired toddler pointed upwards. "Leaf," Harri said, proudly.

"Leaf," Naruto agreed, a smile crossing his face. He reached up to pluck one of the shiny, green leaves and rubbed it against his fingers. It had a waxy coating similar to the leaves surrounding Konoha.

These leaves had absorbed the excess chakra wafting through the air, and would thus channel his own more easily. Naruto focused at the center of the leaf, and channeled a bit of his chakra to it. The basic exercise taxed his mental reserves- the chakra needed was so miniscule, that he had to use every bit of focus to maintain it- but held steadfastly to his hand. The blonde offered that hand to Harri.

"Can you pick it up?" the blonde asked, watching as Harri's brow furrowed. The child may not have understood the exact meaning of the words, but he did understand that the leaf was being offered to him for some reason. Wanting to accept the gift, the curious toddler reached out to pick it up.

It wouldn't move.

A frown crossed Harri's face as he pulled at the edges. It still wouldn't budge. The black-haired boy applied more force, to the point where it should tear, but the leaf stubbornly stayed still.

"Leaf _not _move," Harri said, astonished. He pouted. "_Why _leaf _not go to _Harri?"

"Chakra," Naruto answered simply, and released the leaf. A second later, Harri's tugging worked, and with an exclamation of pleasure, the boy had grasped his prize.

"What ch'kra?" Harri asked, pudgy baby fist crushing the delicate green leaf.

"_This _is chakra," Naruto answered, and channeled some more energy to his hand. He didn't give it any direction, so the blue wisps that rose out easily faded into the air, but not before Harri could see the shining light covering the blonde's hand.

"_Pretty lights_!" Harri cheered, not at all afraid. His Daddy used to make pretty lights come out with the wooden stick that Harri wasn't supposed to touch, and he could make smoke rings too! Could the blonde boy who was like Harri's Mummy, but not Mummy, make smoke too?

"More please," Harri asked, an eager smile on his face. His unoccupied hand unerringly reached for Naruto's chakra-laden one. The toddler laughed at the ticklish feeling of the 'pretty lights' dancing over his fingers, not noticing Naruto's astonished expression. "More _pretty lights!"_

Naruto was going to comply, when his ears pricked up. The Uzumaki's Kyuubi-enhanced senses were a bit sharper than average for a ninja, but they didn't give him much of a warning when something large was rushing toward them at such a rapid pace.

"What the hell?!" Naruto shouted, as he leaped towards the roof of the closest building. His legs ran over the walls, chakra fastening him to the wood, before he was partially hidden behind the tiles. In his arms, Harri merely gripped him closer, trying to steady himself from the jerky movement.

A few meters away from where they had just been standing, a huge red metallic _something_ had just crashed. The metal groaned and buckled under the pressure of the force of the tree it had hit, a loud reverberation echoing from the impact. The screech of the metal made Harri cry out in fear.

Suddenly distracted by the rapidly-forming wetness in Harri's bright green eyes, Naruto looked down in worry. "Hush, Harri-chan," he soothed quietly, trying his best to keep the worry from his voice, "It's okay. There's no need to cry. I'm right here. I'll protect you."

Thankfully, the toddler merely buried his face in Naruto's jacket again, where his cries could be quieter. Naruto couldn't afford to catch the attention of whatever had just crashed below them. The person causing the crash had just appeared below, though Naruto's obscured view only let him catch a slender woman with a high spiky ponytail, and a clinging outfit in black.

She threw a brace of kunai from her hands, which flew through the glass of the machine, causing it to shatter, and hit someone inside. Naruto winced as his keen hearing alerted him to the squelch of metal searing through flesh. He only heard the disturbing noise once, followed by the squirting sound that he associated with gushing blood, so the other kunai must not have reached their mark.

Still to have enough force and accuracy to hit through the opaque glass was impressive.

Naruto was unsure over his next move. The shinobi with the hero complex wanted to rush down there and figure out what was going on, but the more sensible parental figure he was becoming pointedly reminded him of the shivering toddler in his arms. Well, that settled it. He wasn't going to take Harri into the middle of the battlefield.

Naruto's hands formed a familiar cross shape, and a copy of himself popped up next to him from a cloud of smoke. Harri peeked out at the popping sound, and stared at the smoke in confusion.

The blonde quickly handed the toddler over to his clone, while checking his shinobi pouch to see how much ninja wire he had on hand.

'_Not enough to tie up a prisoner, damn it,_' he thought unhappily. Knocking her unconscious would be the way to go then.

"Tou-chan?" Harri asked, staring at him. Then his eyes turned to the figure holding him, and widened. "Tou-chan?"

Despite the situation, Naruto couldn't help but smile at the confused expression on his adopted son's face. Harri was just too adorable.

"Take him to Jiraiya," the blonde ordered briskly, "Avoid anyone else, and don't engage in battle unless directly attacked. If you are, the priority is to get Harri away without injury. You should have enough chakra to split yourself two more times. Understood?"

"Got it, Boss!" the clone replied, offering him a salute.

"I'll see you in a little while, Harri," Naruto added, reassuringly.

One hand ruffled the boy's messy hair, making it stick up even more, as Naruto discretely placed a chakra signal seal on his shirt. The seals were a gift from Jiraiya, and would send out a flare repeatedly once activated. As soon as the clone Naruto was a safe distance away from this mess, he would activate it, and Jiraiya would come running.

Naruto turned away, trusting his clone to get the job done, and readied himself to jump into the fray. Engaging in a ninja battle an hour into his arrival hadn't been Naruto's plan, but the blonde couldn't deny the excitement coursing through his body. That woman's shurikenjutsu was pretty impressive. Now to see if it could handle a cohort of his clones.

xxxxxxx

(This omake has been brought to you by narutoDkurosaki. Orochimaru won't be Harri's grandfather, but that won't stop our favorite blonde from jumping to conclusions!)

Omake

"Harri-chan, we have to leave now," Naruto called out, looking over the wildly grown meadow for a head of messy black hair, "It's time to go see Baa-chan! You want to- Harri?!"

Having spotted his young son, Naruto hurried forward, only to stop dead in his tracks. For there, crouching in front of a vivid green snake, was Harri, a spitting, hissing sound coming from his mouth. And the snake was responding to that sound, drawing itself up and swaying gently in front of the boy.

"Harri-chan?" Naruto repeated, in a horrified whisper. The soft spoken name reached the toddler's ears, because Harri looked up with an innocent look on his face.

"Tou-chan!" Harri squealed happily, and Naruto struggled not to recoil because where there was once Harri's childish, high-pitched Japanese was now a lower, silken hiss.

Naruto's breath hitched. His son was speaking with a _snake_. A snake. An animal and talent that could only be associated with one other man in the entirety of the Elemental Nations. The truth was obvious.

His precious Harri was related to Orochimaru!

Naruto wanted to cry. How could he not have known?! They shared such a resemblance! The same black hair- and well, actually that was it, but that just meant Harri inherited the features of his non-Orochimaru relatives! But his sweet little boy wasn't anything like that monster! He couldn't let anyone else learn about this. They would ostracize Harri, and his son didn't deserve that. It wasn't his fault that he was related to the greatest traitor Konoha had ever had.

Without a second thought, Naruto leapt forward, swept Harri into his arms, and hugged the child for all he was worth.

"This doesn't mean anything, Harri!" Naruto sobbed, not noticing his son's struggles to get out of his grip, "I still love you, no matter what! I'll always love you! Just because Orochimaru is probably your grandfather doesn't mean that you're going to become evil!"

"Tou-chan, c-can't br-breathe," Harri choked.

Standing behind the tearful blonde, Jiraiya simply rolled his eyes. Trust his dramatic apprentice to forget that Orochimaru couldn't actually speak to snakes. His summons were capable of conversing, yes, but they did so in English. Harri had probably just unlocked a new bloodline ability.

With a sigh, the Sannin decided to separate the two, before the blue tint currently on Harri's face became permanent.

xxxxxxx


End file.
